Dear Obadiah Stone,
Mr. Stone. I have been watching you for some time. Well, I suppose that you are at this time deceased, but before that occurred, I was watching you. And sir, I am not fond of you. In fact, I spent the great majority of your movie shouting abuse at you through my computer screen. I may be quite biased, but that is about the size of it. You are not my favorite human being, but I suppose that there must be something about you that I can admire.
Uh.
Your height is quite impressive. As a person of more diminuitive stature, I can appreciate the effort it must have taken to grow so much. The amount of vegetables you ate as a child was probably shocking. The way you made your underlings quake with fear? Priceless. I guess your subtle machinations within Stark Industries were rather well thought out. Lying to everyone for so long must have taken some planning.
Your cunning and ill-will toward mankind in general were astounding. That time you went to Afghanistan and stole the Iron Monger thing from under the Ten Rings' noses was quite intimidating. The cut of your suit was nice and evil. I mean it. You were made for this traitor business.
Remember how you kept trying to kill Tony Stark? Now, that wasn't okay with me. I love Tony Stark. Probably too much. However, I can appreciate the effort of your first attempt took. I don't have that kind of patience. The second time, when you snuck into his house and quite literally ripped out his heart? Totally evil. To be that awful of a person must have taken a lot of practice.
Well, Mr. Stone, you are a man of many varied and most unsavory talents, I must admit. Your devoted efforts to being a thoroughly dislikeable human being has paid off. I don't like you, Mr. Stone, and will continue in my concentrated disdain for the forseeable future.
Stay dead!
Yours,
Jessica Dowding
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